April 9, 2022
I had not too long ago written on 'passivity'—a state of mind that purports to be restful and rejuvenating, while being none of the two. A quick example of passivity: the act of scrolling through social media for 'rest', after working intensely, for hours, on something mentally or physically challenging. In my previous essay, I had argued that passivity brings rest only during the act of passivity itself: after its conclusion, you find yourself more tired than you were before. I also advocated for the expulsion of passivity in my own life—in this writing, I am going to share some of my updates on that journey.
Ever since putting an end to passivity, I have been acutely aware of how constantly my brain runs: that is, I am always thinking, and aware of my own thinking. There is no end, no stop to it, which is unfortunate. However, I still prefer it over passivity: primarily because passivity does not stop my flow of thoughts gracefully—it squashes them and prevents their being expressed. I would rather stop my flow of thoughts by taking them to completion—which certainly requires far more effort than passiving, but is worth pursuing by right of its being free from 'escapism' (a fancy term for running away from your own thoughts).
Lack of passivity also initially made me despair of my being in need of serendipitous or chance encounters with knowledge that I otherwise would not have come across. How many times have I, or you, come across something interesting while passiving, and followed up on that interest, only to find its being even more interesting than originally thought, and spent not little time engrossed in learning about and in the joys of that subject? Classic literature has been one such subject for me. I was introduced to it entirely by accident—while browsing through (unfortunately) YouTube, entirely in the captivity of passivity. Still, even this has a remedy that might just outshine the problem itself—'exposure'.
Exposure is precisely the means for the 'serendipitous or chance encounters' referred to in the foregoing paragraph. To be sure, passivity too is a form of exposure, albeit let us be clear: passivity is the meanest form of exposure. 'Real' exposure, if you will, is what you get by talking to people of different fields of work, backgrounds, levels of education, and other dimensions you can think of; reading eclectic books; and, among others, social media and YouTube too—provided you engage in them actively. Gaining real exposure is, like anything that requires active work, a difficult task—the payoff is likewise large, however. One major source of exposure for me is a friend from a different continent, who, while having a similar set of interests as I do, is sufficiently 'different' from me for the both of us to provide fascinating exposure to one another. I learn about my friend's habits, his interests, his culture, the kinds of books he reads, what his friends are like, and a host of other things that passivity could but fail to provide. I am convinced that active exposure is the way to go.
The expulsion of passivity also necessitated a reevaluation of my habits: mainly prosaic ones, such as how I eat. I used to eat watching the television. Need we guess why? Let us just say that passivity is deeply inviting. I eat now without any such distractions. Let me be clear: it is difficult—calling it herculean would be a stretch, but it is not apparently too easy: for even while eating, my mind does not stop, thereby requiring some effort on my part to focus on the food at hand (HA!). Similar changes have been made on other fronts too. For one, I sit idle for 30 minutes each day. One would be surprised how 'annoying' it is, to use the lay person's term. Regardless, I do feel an overall sense of improvement in the state of my mind: and this must explain my adherence to and continuance of 'activity', the playful opposite of 'passivity'.
There is really only one area that I continue to struggle against—fatigue. Being always mentally active saps energy. Sometimes, I cannot think, but there are always thoughts to be thought. They, to put it simply, cannot be taken to completion owing to fatigue. In such moments, I struggle with the next course of action. Passiving is no option, obviously—it is but an illusion of rest. 10-minute naps sometimes work beautifully. I wake up a new man, feeling heartily energized and inspirited. They sadly do not always work: at times, I cannot fall into a nap as easily as I do at other times. Sitting idle is likewise, sometimes, impossible. I have come to believe that focus meditation is the only option in those moments. While being hard to get into the flow of, I have, in the past, felt their immense powers of rejuvenation. Walks are another avenue I wish to explore further. I believe the former two practices will certainly assist in my occasional fight against tiredness.
Such has been my journey so far. All in all, I must say it has not been unpleasant—I am sufficiently pleased with it to recommend it, to anyone, with conviction. I do not doubt my posting other updates in the future. Whoever is reading, stay tuned!